I was thinking about all the times someone I love has let me down in my life. I was thinking about all the times I loved so hard and only felt broken in a relationship. Let down. Used. Unable to care for myself because I felt so pitiful. Dumb. Humiliated. I just feel beat up sometimes emotionally. The level grief I could not approach or process was heavily weighing on me.
I was studying this BIG feeling from the past. I used to have this thought and it began while I was young. I wondered how it was that this repetitious thought began to form my identity. It was a feeling of despair, a feeling of worthlessness and a thought that did take me captive for many years. It was: I came from brokenness and I must be broken. I think that because this thought became so part of a mentality I had created personally for myself. .. I lived in a reality that I was indeed broken.
In 2021 I began really studying a song. The song is called broken pieces, and you can look it up if you want. This song really spoke to me. I began making a regular search in the bible, seeking, and studying. I wanted to learn and rehearse other mindsets that were Godly and not dysfunctional. The world has such a lingering of dysfunction going on and society echoes the pain. I just wanted to bring a sound mind into the atmosphere and create a positive, healing, faith based msg. unto my path. I truly believe God has saved my life numerous times. He grants us such peace.
I carry a certain peace with me now that seems to be from our supernatural wonder working God. The Father of the heavens, and I pray to Jesus and I ask Holy Spirit to guide me to help heal my heart. I believe that miraculously He has healed my anger issues, my brokenness, and made me comfortable with who I am and helps me to feel more secure while living in fullness.
Here are the lyrics to the song if you want to know. It is sung by Stephany G. when she was singing with Bethel church. It is about Gods love for us. the description is something I memorized on the tablet of my heart. And as I pray over all relational issues and ask for continued wisdom as I love – I think about these lyrics and feel so blessed to be loved by God.
Lyrics
Unreserved, unrestrained
Your love is wild
Your love is wild for me
It isn’t shy, it’s unashamed
Your love is proud
To be seen with me
‘Cause You don’t give Your heart in pieces
You don’t hide Yourself to tease us
Uncontrolled, uncontained
Your love is a fire
Burning bright for me
It’s not a spark
It’s not just a flame
Your love is a light
That all the world will see
All the world will see
That You don’t give Your heart in pieces
You don’t hide Yourself to tease us, no
You don’t give Your heart in pieces, no
And You don’t hide Yourself to tease us
Your love’s not fractured
It’s not a troubled mind
It isn’t anxious
It’s not the restless kind
Your love’s not passive
It’s never disengaged
It’s always present
It hangs on every word we say
Love keeps its promises
It keeps its word
It honors what’s sacred
‘Cause its vows are good
Your love’s not broken
It’s not insecure
Your love’s not selfish
Your love is pure
You don’t give Your heart in pieces
And You don’t hide Yourself to tease us
You don’t give Your heart in pieces
‘Cause You don’t hide Yourself to tease us
You don’t give Your heart in pieces.
Songwriters: Amanda Patricia Cook / Steffany Dawn Gretzinger
Pieces lyrics © Bethel Music Publishing