I guess I am getting older. Years ago when I was a young mother I was one of those women who did it all; fixed meals, laundry, cleaned, raised my son and held down a full-time job. I know that I am not the only one who had to do this but the point being, I did it.
Other women I knew would just tell me to simply sit down and relax for awhile and simply recharge. I found that I was not like these other women. I could go on and on cleaning and do other chores like that bunny on TV who keeps right on going, but if I stopped, I was done.
Fast forward to me today, I have a Recharging Station, called the coffee pot. That is how I get any energy today. Sadly, the days of being like that bunny are long gone.
I‘m watching her sit under that big tree in the park. She is reading a book and it must be good because she is barely looking up. That is fine with me. I can see her and she is beautiful. Not like Hollywood beautiful but like someone who is shy, and innocent with a way about her that simply draws me to her. I am thankful that she doesn’t notice me. She wouldn’t like me, I just know it. This is the kind of girl that would never have anything to do with me, I am so ugly. I am sure she would only have eyes for the jocks.
There he is. Don’t look up from the book in case he sees that I am looking at him. I would just die if he knew how much I liked him. He’s different, he is a nice guy; not like some of those jocks that are so full of themselves that they don’t really want to get to know me. He’s not real cute but his face is so cool with that scar on his chin. I wonder how he got it. I’ll bet he has stories to tell and interesting to know. But anybody that cool wouldn’t want to be with me, I can never come up with anything interesting to talk about.
I am sitting on the park bench just people watching. I love to just observe how people talk, react and live their lives; for instance, I have noticed these two young people who can’t hide the fact that they like each other but they don’t know it yet. Should I do or say something? It must be obvious to everyone in the park except them. Better not, none of my business. They’re young. Hope they figure it out. I think I am done watching people for the day. Guess I’ll go home to that empty apartment. I wish I had somebody to talk to.
It was disappointing to me. I am an adult. Shouldn’t it be the kids that with eyes wide and mouths gaping look up at the sights and monsters on the screen? They could be watching the latest out in space movie or what’s beneath the earth movie and it is so real that you feel like you are on that adventure with them.
Hollywood is in the business to make the unreal into something that we think is very real.As in this Legoland display, it looks like you can walk around there and explore.
I watched a movie set in this wonderful neighborhood that everybody would love to live in with beautiful trees, white picket fences surrounding perfect lawns and gardens. Then when the film was over they gave information on the movie. This man comes in and points out how they displayed the town with miniature houses, cars, trees! I was so disappointed, that piece of perfection did not even exist. I learned my lesson; now I take everything at the movies with a grain of salt!
Did you ever have one of those recurring dreams or nightmares? You know what I’m talking about; there’s no rhyme or reason why you should be having it again. You are an adult now, you know your strengths and weaknesses. You don’t need to be revisiting your childhood fears that are so real in your dreams that you feel that you are back in that room again.
That room was my bedroom that I shared with my sister. In my dreams my sister is never there to help me when the bad guys are trying to shoot me. Why there is no furniture in the room, I don’t know, but no matter what corner I try to hide in they can still see from the windows. No matter what I do, I can not reach safety.
The amazing part of this nightmare is that I never get shot, but every time I dream this, the fear is so real that when I finally wake up, I reach for the aspirin bottle.
My Kitchen Table
One of my many dilemmas is what to do with the kitchen table. We have a big kitchen and the table fits in front of the windows. Our nephew just gave us the table a few years ago because it was too big for his kitchen so we gladly accepted it but no matter how much we begged he would not part with the matching chairs.
Now it sits in our kitchen but there’s a problem. The surface of the table is so sticky with who knows what that it’s unusable. I scrubbed with everything I could think of and yet it sticks. So I put a tablecloth on it and when it was time to take it off, fibers of the cloth were imbedded into the surface of the table. I guess I have no choice but to bring out the sander and get busy.
When I am done with this table the surface will be so slick that the plates will practically be ice skating.